So, yesterday I went with Brian to his friend (and really my friend too) Mike's to watch Monday night football and hockey. No sooner had the game begun when Mike and I got into a discussion/debate about whether or not it's useful for marginalized groups to protest and insist on acknowledgment, e.g., Black History month, and Hispanic month, etc. Naturally I was on the side of protesting and acknowledging, but Mike thought that when groups insisted on special treatment, it only furthered separation. He thought the imbalance of power between whites and people of color would "work itself out," and of course, I didn't think it would, because what would be the incentive for people in power to share it if no one was insisting that they do? Anyway, this went on and at some point, I thought, how did I get into this. Exactly what in the football game lent itself to a debate with Mike about race, power, and privilege. The whole thing finally ended and Mike went out to smoke a cigarette (yup, driving people to substances I am).
Then, on the way home, somehow Brian and I got into an argument about different listening techniques. I don't know how it began, but I'm sure I started it and kept fueling it until it was argumentative.
I began thinking about all these arguments I got into and when I did. At Christmas dinner I argued with my mother about religious vs. Secular volunteer groups, in Washington D.C., I argued with Kevin over every war memorial we saw and what voices were silenced by it. I believe there's an entry below that you can reference from that trip.
I had thought that these arguments were initiated by both myself and the other party, but now, I've changed my mind - it's just me. It's strange, but if any issues that I care about are even slightly hinted at, I start expressing my thoughts on them and going back and forth with the nearest person and begin to think that the fate of the world is hinging on my voicing this very important issue. It gets ridiculous! But I do have to say that these things I argue, I'm not arguing for argument sake. I truly believe in the issue at hand.
Anyway, my action steps, before no one wants to talk to me anymore, are to start paying closer attention to what's happening when I get worked up and to firstly, gage if it's an appropriate time to get into it, be careful that I'm listening to the other person (even though I don't think the main problem is me not hearing the other person) and being empathetic and cooling the critical voice in my head.
You're probably now glad that I haven't been keeping up with my blog entries if this is the insanity I'm going to talk about. It's at least kinda funny, but maybe more pathetic...
