Super Secret Mission
Mission Accomplished!
Last night I headed to the local Walmart, forcing Brian to come along for backup, and semi-faked an ailment at their medical center. I decided to go with allergies, after first asking my Dad if it would be bad for me to get another flu shot. He said it was probably best not to get shots that I don't need and suggested that I go with allergies to see if I could score some Singulair for when my allergies actually flare up. As Brian went off to scope out Xbox video games, I headed to the medical center. I was asked if I had insurance. I said no (lie #1) and then told that it would cost $65 to meet with someone about my allergies. I said okay, and took the paperwork. In a panic, I tried to call Rachel to ask if she wanted me to pay the $65. No answer (sonofa!) I walked over with my paperwork with my maintained lie that I had no insurance. They took me in the back room where the nurse practitioner asked me about my allergies. I told him that I was from Michigan where I'd had allergies, but that ever since I'd moved to Denver, my allergies were worse. He asked when I moved to Denver. And, I said four years ago (strange look #1). He was like, you've been living with horrible allergies for four year and are just now coming in with symptoms? I was like "yup!" Anywho, in the end he told me that Singulair was too expensive since I didn't have health insurance (lie #1 back to bite me). I said okay, and he gave me a prescription for flonase.
The end! I hope writing this doesn't expose my covert operation!
posted by Naomi @ 3:55 PM
9 Comments:
I couldn't believe it when Jeff told me this blog was active again. First, I can't believe Walmart has medical clinics. Second, I'm fairly certain if you walked into a Walmart medical clinic, you wouldn't get a cat scan, unless maybe cat scans were on special on aisle 4. Well what do I know, I did go to Sears for my eye exams when I didn't have insurance because it was so cheap. And after getting my eyes examined, I could shop for tires. Third, I want to know if Rachel is going to reimburse you for the advances made during the operation. Fourth, why in the *#&#^ is Jake sleeping so well and I can no longer sleep at night?!?!?! Go again and tell them you have a baby and ask that one. Tell me what they say.
You and your lies!
What other fun assignments are you going to get from Rachel? You know, besides this and the drink log...
Yeah, how come I don't any fun assignments from Rachel, I'm retired.
Please someone give Lois aka mom some black ops program to keep her busy. She would fit right in with Blackwater exec management. Of course all of the above would fit in perfectly with someone who is already undercover and on assignment...would you ever suspect? See! Tom aka Dad
Let it be known that Naomi is amazing at supercenter espionage. The senior health editor was happy with her work and I'm going to do what I can to get her a "reported by" credit. Plus, I'm looking forward to the drinking log. I hear they're retooling the package a bit to focus more on future brides-to-be and their excessive champagne consumption.
Glad this blog is finally up and running again. Bout time. I missed it so much that I read the jam entry every single day and laughed. And then cried.
Aunt Lois, I'll keep my eye out for any other upcoming missions. You are not forgotten. In fact, I think my new goal is to get the entire Marshall fam in the magazine some way or another. Maybe we can use your name as one of the fake names in a " *no real names have been used" kind of story.
As in, "When Lois Marshall* found out she'd contracted Hepatitis C from never washing her bathroom towel, she could have never known the disease would forever dash her hopes of an Equestrian gold in the Beijing Olympics."
And yes, Ann, Naomi is going to be reimbursed. Man, you're such a lawyer.
I would like to be excluded from the "no real names have been used story" It might ruin my chances of ever running for political office :)
I think I'd like to choose my own disease.
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