Saying "Condom" in a Meeting

Well, not to over introduce our topic for today, but as you may have guessed, I was in a meeting today. This was a sort of meeting of the minds between marketing and the conference development team. Everything seemed to be going swimmingly; the President talked about the history of marketing at the company, the marketing team told us what their roles were, and then we were invited to just shout out ideas for ways to work together to meet our corporate goals. We were not invited to shout out different types of contraceptives, but I wasn't listening closely enough. At one point I offered a data sharing scenario, where if I'm talking to a conference speaker and they make a random comment about our competitors, we should share that with those people doing research on our competitors. Alas, what type of word comes out when you try to put random and comment together. That's right, I suggested that we capture random condoms to the marketing team, my fellow Conference Directors, and our President.

Naturally, this was the highlight of the meeting, and for the next 45 minutes I was thrown into a giggle loop, where I just tried not to burst out laughing every time I remembered I'd said condom in our meeting. Sonofa! After the meeting, though, I was thanked by several colleagues, and it was said that my saying "condom" was the best part of the meeting. My job here is done.

Fun Shoe Friday!

So, one of my many job responsibilities here is planning our corporate Fashion Fridays. And, as you probably guessed, this job responsibility was assigned by me to myself. It all began when I decided I needed a reason to wear my super-cute pink and gold paisley heels. They were feeling very lonely in their carefully preserved shoe box. I decided to start keeping my shoe boxes to store my shoes in when I saw that Carrie in "Sex and the City" did it. You can imagine Brian's surprise/annoyance when we were opening all my moving boxes to find a bunch of empty shoe boxes that I refused to throw out.

Anyway, I'm getting side-tracked, so I'm starting a new paragraph. I sent out an email announcement to all of my colleagues whom I thought would like to share in my justification for cute shoe wearing. Fun Shoe Friday was a hit! We even created a collage to commemorate the day (see above).

The only problem with the original Fun Shoe Friday was that it didn't include everyone, so we held it again last Friday, and I sent out a company-wide announcement and follow-up. It was glorious! The day swirled with purple suede, brown peep-toe, checkered and comic book sneakers, and even Italian leather. The winner wore heels with swirls of hot pink and neon green - awesome! I believe our next fashion Friday will be fun scarf and tie day - I can hardly wait!

Well, I thought I should post something today in fear of you crazy commenters taking over my blog. Sheesh! Please remember that all comments should be in regard to my blog. The only exception to this rule is if you want to talk about how hilarious and super sweet I am. So, let's keep on track people! The topic of my drinking log came up amidst the comments, so I thought I'd post that today. This also conveniently recounts the week I got engaged...

Monday, September 10, 2007

Friends birthday celebration

People: the Birthday boy, B-day boy’s sister and her husband, me, and my boyfriend

Dinner at Bennie’s Mexican restaurant – two margaritas ($15/pitcher – 5 in pitcher)

Bar hopping after

People: Same as above, including an extra friend who joined

Drinks: two glasses of Cabernet ($6/glass)

At the end of the night I got into a heated debate about violence with the birthday boy himself. I probably would have let it go if I hadn’t had a few.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Dinner and drinks at The Spot – a local Denver bar

People: me and my boyfriend

Drinks: Two 90 Shillings beer ($4/glass) with my Ahi Tuna Burger

Went for a walk at nearby Washington Park. Got a little mad at my boyfriend wanting to move in together, but not get married. I reminded him that it was me who'd have to break that news to my mother.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Golfing

People: my Boyfriend, his co-worker, and his girlfriend

Drink: One Fat Tire beer ($6)

I played the best game of my life! (of course I’d only played twice before)

Dinner: Pasquini’s Restaurant, Denver

People: my boyfriend and I

Drinks: Two glasses of Sangria ($18/pitcher) with my Portobello Pizetta

Had dinner and went for a little walk through the neighborhood, where my boyfriend unexpectedly proposed, and I accepted (decision not affected by Sangria / the crying that accompanied may have been – undetermined).

After-Engagement Party: Fiancé’s (formerly boyfriend’s) apartment

People: Fiancé, his roommate, his parents, and his three sisters

Drink: One glass of champagne ($?) with Strawberry pie

Greeted my new family members, and recounted my surprise that my fiancé had kept this from me for two months, and laughed about sending my mother an article earlier in the day about how more and more people are waiting till their 30’s to get married, so she would stop harassing me to get married.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Stayed in made dinner and watched a movie

People: My fiancé and I

Drinks: Two glasses of Pinot Grigio (one with dinner/one after watching the movie) ($8/bottle)

Friday, September 14, 2007

Dinner: Wahoo’s

People: my fiancé and I

Drink: One bottle of Sol Beer ($3.50)

Out downtown: Rio bar and restaurant

People: my fiancé, me, six of his college friends (all guys)

Drink: One frozen mango margarita ($7)

We chatted for awhile and watched the friends get drunk, but we were tired and went home after the one drink.

Saturday, September 15, 2007

Dinner: at home

People: my fiancé and I

Drink: One glass of Pinot Noir with dinner (Chicken pesto sandwich with corn on the cob) ($8/bottle)

Fiance’s friend’s farewell poker party

People: my fiancé, me, a bunch of people from his hockey team, some neighbors

Drinks: About five beers (approximation, the host kept refilling my glass all night) ($? – they had a keg). Got on the computer on myspace and facebook and started leaving messages for random friends telling them that I was engaged. (Couldn’t remember who I wrote to or what I wrote later on). Left my myspace page logged in and the party host and a friend of his went in and changed my profile to include a bunch of inappropriate comments.

Sunday, September 16, 2007

Hanging out at home / cleaning / doing some work

People: just me

Drinks: Two glasses of Pinot Noir ($8/bottle)

The wine made the cleaning and working a little more pleasant.

Skinny it up!

Well, Operation "No Fat Brides" is in effect, you'll all be happy to know. I've been working out diligently and watching what I eat for like a whole week. And, when I say watching what I eat, I mean it in the most literal sense. I don't really feel any thinner, but I'm thinking that it'll melt off all at once - keep em' crossed. I could probably speed up this process if I tried to moderate my drinking, but heck, I've got like ten months, so there's no need to go to that crazy extreme! This whole operation wouldn't be that essential if it weren't for the fact that my fiance has no body fat at all, and only out weighs me by about two pounds. Oh well, I'll look at it as incentive to achieve my new year's resolution of being in the best shape of my life.

In regard to my quest to learn how to be married, I gave it some good practice this weekend. On Saturday I did a bunch of laundry and emptied the dishwasher. I was feeling ahead of the game until Brian came home from work, finished the laundry, made the bed, and cleaned the room. Sonofa! Brian's ahead of me on half my resolutions. Perhaps, I should make the "learning how to be married" resolution less competitive with my future spouse. I may be missing the point.

I have to say, I'm very impressed that I've got my loyal blog readers back here so quickly! I feel kind of like a celebrity. Thank you Shannon for pointing out that it has been said that the definition of "hilarious" is Naomi!

Super Secret Mission

Mission Accomplished!

Last night I headed to the local Walmart, forcing Brian to come along for backup, and semi-faked an ailment at their medical center. I decided to go with allergies, after first asking my Dad if it would be bad for me to get another flu shot. He said it was probably best not to get shots that I don't need and suggested that I go with allergies to see if I could score some Singulair for when my allergies actually flare up. As Brian went off to scope out Xbox video games, I headed to the medical center. I was asked if I had insurance. I said no (lie #1) and then told that it would cost $65 to meet with someone about my allergies. I said okay, and took the paperwork. In a panic, I tried to call Rachel to ask if she wanted me to pay the $65. No answer (sonofa!) I walked over with my paperwork with my maintained lie that I had no insurance. They took me in the back room where the nurse practitioner asked me about my allergies. I told him that I was from Michigan where I'd had allergies, but that ever since I'd moved to Denver, my allergies were worse. He asked when I moved to Denver. And, I said four years ago (strange look #1). He was like, you've been living with horrible allergies for four year and are just now coming in with symptoms? I was like "yup!" Anywho, in the end he told me that Singulair was too expensive since I didn't have health insurance (lie #1 back to bite me). I said okay, and he gave me a prescription for flonase.

The end! I hope writing this doesn't expose my covert operation!

What is this!?!

Yes, my friends, in the spirit of the new year and my wedding year, I have been advised to resurrect the blog.

I realize where I went wrong last time. I had my most brilliant blackberry jam blog waaay too early in the year. And, after that, how could I top it? And so here we are. For this blog, I'm going to focus on my new year's resolutions:

1 - blog consistently
2 - get in the best shape of my life
3 - get married
4 - learn how to be married (hopefully I'll do this before getting married, but if not, I'll just figure it out as I go)
5 - publish my thesis (this is 2nd or 3rd time this one has made the resolution list - sonofa)

Status on each:

1 - blogged today (can't yet qualify as consistent)
2 - been running (still not in best shape of my life)
3 - get married (found the guy, set the date, but goal not yet achieved)
4 - observed my parents over holidays (learned that you should roll your eyes at each other all the time and I've got it down!)
5 - I looked at my thesis again for a few minutes (I think that's step one to publishing!)

In other news, I'm running a covert operation for my cousin Rachel tonight. I have to go into a Walmart health clinic and fake an illness and assess if I like it there for her magazine. And, I've been worried about it all day. My coworker and I determined that a headache won't work cause they may want to give me a Catscan. Rachel suggested allergies, so I think I'll go with that. Flu shot would have been easiest, but I already got one. Is it bad to get more than one? Hmm... Well, I'll let you know how it goes.

Lastly, someone today suggested that I do stand-up because I'm hilarious. And, I agree!